Following Edge

This is my dad at a place called Dinners Done Right. He cooks 12 dinners in 2 hours and takes them home to keep them in a freezer in our back yard. Then, we eat them. I like the bread sticks. They are my favorite food. Dad likes that a whole meal for the family costs only about $12 and takes only 15 minutes to cook at home. I'm always happy when my dad says we're going to eat one of the 12 dinners.

These are me and my dad's set up toys. The one with 3 people dancing under a flag is mine. The one that's sitting down behind a desk is my dad's. We used the ello construction set to build them. My favorite part was the fun building them. My dad likes the crazy way the characters look. Mother likes that they are bright and colorful. It took a short while to build them. We showed them in our kitchen for weeks.

This is me at home trying on my Tae Kwon Do sparring gear and doing a side kick, which is my favorite kick.

Today my dad and I tested to be yellow belt instructors. My next test may be for green belt. I always think about the 5 tenets of Tae Kwon Do: courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self control, and indomitable spirit. I like Tae Kwon Do a lot.

I didn't tell everyone, but, in January, I felt like I'd reached the best point in my life. Between being mostly relaxed about work while accomplishing good things, getting things done around the house at a mostly relaxed pace, taking time off work and household chores to spend more relaxed time with Lauren, how could things be better?

Perhaps I could say that I am only mostly through my 18 month (or more) journey in making my life less anxious and depressed, in getting closer to people and things that I love (like this horse riding picture from this fall), and in focusing on what's good for me. I could say that I can still be a bit more relaxed about things, that I could be better connected to the people I love, that Anne Marie and I could be even further along with our goals, and that I could be even more exactly where I want to be. But, who wants to be at the end of the journey?

Now, especially after my first trip to Hawaii reminded me not to worry about things when there is no problem (a'one he pilikia, again), I could barely be happier and I can only look forward to the ever-improving future, even if there could be financial trouble, hard work, and unending chores ahead. It's all in how you look at it.

And no, you skeptics, I'm not high... at the moment. Just pleased and mostly relaxed.

My focus on relaxation has cut out some of my time writing here. I'm kind of enjoying that my recent 6-month blog sabbatical has served to take some of the "audience pressure" away. Now I'll continue to find my motivation for writing without that pressure. Stay tuned.

Even though our return trip from Hawaii was a breeze, including a farewell (or Aloha) trip to the beach before our flight, we were feeling so good that we decided to finish the drive all the way home instead of camping near Portland. Hence, we got to bed at 2:30 in the morning, and that itself required a day or two to recover.

Beyond that, the real world of work and household chores is a lot more complex than relaxing in Hawaii. Even so, I feel like a changed person. In the last year and a half, I've been working on taking things easy and getting as much done as possible at work and at home without destroying myself at the same time. As well as I've been doing with that effort, my visit to Hawaii was really an eye opener... I don't need to worry about as many things as I usually do... You know, "A'one he pilikia".

Since returning, I really have been able to hold on to my "Aloha" attitude even while I take care of Lauren, do taxes, pay bills, go shopping, ship books, adjust scripts, send emails, maintain sites, etc, etc. The trick, which I had figured out intellectually, is to do what you can, organize things so that you don't have to worry about them, and don't worry about the things that aren't in front of you (or at the top of your list). The vacation to Hawaii really gave me the extra piece of relax-expertise that I needed. I'm going to hang onto that philosophy... I swear!

The remaining day of our trip, spent mostly in Bend, was practically without event, compared to the rest of the trip so far.

After staying overnight at Tumalo State Park, near Bend, we enjoyed two museums before
returning through Eugene and home.

Our stop at the High Desert Museum was surprisingly interesting. I don't usually get a great kick out of these nature and history museums, but this one had some great historic displays and recreations... plus a Bobcat and Lynx and other animals that Anne Marie thought were cute.

After that, we visited Bend's Old Mill District, which is quite a fancy shopping area, underscoring Bend's grown and gentrification. After lunch, we visited the Working Wonders Children's Museum, which is really more of a learning/play place than a museum, but well organized and obviously loved by many local families.

Arriving home, I feel a great sense of accomplishment for having our new truck and camper where it belongs, and having enough experience with it to know that it's going to work out great for us.

We're enjoying an extended layover in Portland, due to a delay on the flight to Boise. That turns out to be just fine as there is a cheesy children's play area (a faw walk at the end of one of the terminals) and free WiFi.

We got to observe the $1.5 million baggage screening machines at the Eugene airport. They're quite nice as the machines completely inspected 4 of our checked bags with no human intervention. However, the 5th item, Michael's "box of mystery", required human intervention and lit up the displays with the contents of the box highlighted in a number of ways. I guess the people that designed the machine weren't anticipating the contents of this box: Truck snow chains, RV Toilet, Toilet bolts, Gloves (3), Wrench/Hammer/Tools, Battery charger (2), Extension cord, Towel. Happily, after a minute or two of gazing into their computers, the screeners accepted our baggage.

The Horizon Air flight was only 36 minutes, but the flight attendant, Leighton, was really a jewel... friendly, confident, and compassionate. Of course, we could have been influenced by the free Syrah wine and Pyramid Snow Cap beer. Very nice!
Next stop, Boise!

After 3 days without mail earlier this week, and as a person who loves mail more than Gerald Ford, I couldn't have had a better surprise when the mail sorting facility in Springfield called me about a chicken in the mail.

I ran out there before work this morning to pick her up, and have been babysitting her in my office all day. Mostly, she was drinking and eating to recover from her flight from Arkansas, but in the afternoon, she was roosting on boxes and making horribly loud clucking noises. So, I grabbed her up in my arms and took her for a walk to our main office a couple of blocks away, where everyone said she was a very beautiful chicken. After that trauma, she's resting much more quietly in the office.

We bought her yesterday on EggBid, the eBay-like web site for poultry, after the raccoons consumed our previous buff silkie hen last week (as they had her mother last year). While the loss was a hard blow, having a new pullet for our buff silkie rooster is great, since the rooster and previous hen were brother and sister, leaving morally-distasteful incestuous eggs all around the farm.

No name for the new chicken yet, so I am just calling her "Pullet X". We'll be thinking of a name as we get used to her over the coming week. Let us know if you have any suggestions. Our current chickens are named Atilla the Hen, Sadie (which Lauren claimed was short for Satan), Rhonda Bacardi (whose legband number is 151), and John Poppin. That should give you an idea of how conventional our chicken naming has been up to this point.

David wrote:

What are you up to this fine Sunday?

Michael wrote:

Not much. Researching whether we are between 1958 and 1962 with a repeat of the 70s coming up in about 10 years or whether we're already as late as 1968.

We'll go and get Lauren and meet Bonnie at the Holiday Market this afternoon. Things are quiet.

David wrote:

Curious... where we are as a society? In what aspect, and of course, the generic "why" questions come to mind Stock market? Resurgence of bad hair cuts? The Chia Pet?

---

Yes, I meant societal/social stuff. I think we're coming out of a time of business growth and socially conservativism into a time of increased liberalism and focus on human issues.Why? I think that history does run in cycles. Of course, things don't exactly repeat, meaning I doubt that we'll see an exact replay of clothes, music, or hair styles from the 60s or 70s. Though, of course, I'm sure we'll see some of those things come back in the typical "retro loop" of those things.Perhaps it's a bit like biorhythms... various cycles of general cultural direction, war/peace, technology, etc that result in a "bumpy" cycle of repetitions of things, but never an exact duplication for everything.

Your mention of the stock market makes me curious. Look at these two graphs of the Dow Jones Industrial Averages:

Dow Jones recently

Dow Jones a ways back

One is for the last 10.5 years and the other is for the 4.75 years ending at the end of 1961. The pattern of climb, climb, climb, notable decline, climb, climb, climb is almost identical, except that it happens over half the time. (Could this reduction in cycle time be part of an acceleration do to increased participation in the stock market or due to more speedy and pervasive communication?)

Here also is an article from 1960 that, while talking about different specifics, reflects the same worry about cautious investors from the 1960 stock market downturn as we saw after the recent "tech bubble" downturn.

Stock article from Time magazine, 1960

Really, though, I'm not much interested in speculating on the stock market based on these huge cycles. I am more interested in seeing a more humane society.

Interesting stuff, I think. Are you ready for something like the "Summer of Love" again in 2011, or maybe even in 2009?

The crux of this recap of our remaining time in Manhattan is that the New York subway beats the pants off of the really nice public transit in Portland. It is relatively clean, well organized, and very easily saves walking dozens of blocks with little effort.

Unfortunately for our very tired legs, the ability to quickly transport ourselves by subway didn't reduce our walking time... it just allowed us to go further. To finish out our express tour, we visited the Empire State Building (sadly, once again the tallest building in New York), several shopping spots in the fashion district, TekServe (the finest Apple store in New York), MOMA (the museum of modern art, where we stretched ourselves to visit 4 of the 6 levels of galleries), Central Park (and their fantastic little zoo), Chinatown (where Anne Marie, sadly, did not find a chicken to tell our fortune), and the Trade Center site (unfortunately, not the tallest building in New York any longer, but still a site well worth seeing and reflecting on).

There were still a number of really important places we didn't get to see during our brief stay, but given the limited time and the limits to which we can carry our legs (or which they can carry us, I suppose), I'm happy with what we accomplished.

Our return flight was totally uneventful with our "lost" baggage being easier to find on our arrival in Portland than the baggage we checked for the flight.

There is something interesting or even renown every few blocks in Manhattan. You could walk half a mile in Portland to find something remarkable, and you'd better know where you're going.

In Manhattan, we started our first day by walking a block to Broadway and heading a few blocks East to St. Patrick's Cathedral (a recommendation from Catherine, the ticketing agent). The cathedral was overwhelming, with practically every inch covered in amazing stained glass, incredible carved scenes, and life-size statues of saints.  However, the most notable thing was that, in the handful of blocks we walked to get there, we went by Carnege Hall, Radio City Music Hall, and Rockefeller Center... without even trying. Of course, we’ve been surrounded by the names and images of these places in the media all our lives, but never seen how small they really are in person.

Then, we left St. Patrick's Cathedral, had a bite to eat and walked the handful of blocks to Times Square. There, we peeked in at a CNN reporter reporting live on the stock market, spent over an hour shopping and riding the ferris wheel in the Toys R Us Times Square store. Lauren was in heaven, as you can see in the picture.

Now, if the first thing about Manhattan is that it's jam-packed with things within a few blocks, you'll find yourself walking a few miles as you constantly head off to see the next amazing thing "just down the block". By this time, Anne Marie's feet were killing her (remember, her walking shoes and most clothes are in a bag in Portland), so we walked a few blocks, of course, to the uptown portion of the fashion district and got some new All Stars for her. Then, we got on the subway to return to the hotel, discovering that the subway entrance was right on the corner of the hotel.

Tomorrow, the subway instead!

Cashier at Capella Market in Eugene: What is that for?

Michael: [Knowing from experience what this is about] It's my bandolier. Since it's getting too hot for my jacket, I'm trying it out for carrying around the stuff that's usually in my jacket pockets.

Cashier: Where did you get it?

Michael: I made it myself... these are just mini camera cases. See the expert stitching I did on the belt clamp.

Cashier: That's very practical. And it gives you a very sporting look.

Michael: Certainly!

So it has been in the weeks since I finished my bandolier. The trucker at the truck stop in Aurora asks to touch it. A father at Lauren's school yells "Badges!?! We don't need no steenkin badges"! A homeless vet launches his plea for change with "Hey, I wore something like that in the war". The restaurant ends up calling out "Bomb Man" instead of "Michael" when my order is ready. There's no doubt that my new bit of fashion has launched dozens of conversations (and probably caused dozens to cross to the other side of the street).

I have actually been planning and considering a bandolier for months. Every year, as the weather improves and I need to shed my jacket, I struggle to find the perfect solution for carrying the various electronic, health-related, and organizational items I need to carry. I tried a fanny pack years ago before it became obvious to everyone that they make you look like an ass. I tried a large belt-clip camera case, which was not at all aesthetic or organizationally competent. Many people use messenger bags, but my loosely connected brain would have me leaving it somewhere before the ink dried on the receipt.

I had been thinking about some sort of across-the-body shoulder thing (so I wouldn't lose it and so it wouldn't be a pain in the back) with a number of pockets (to avoid the jumble you get from bigger bags or packs. Then, Lore Sjoberg wrote at Wired that the bandolier was intriguing, but insisted it was not an option for geeks who were not fashion trend-setters. Well, listen up, Lore! I am the fashion trend-setter!

There is a reason that the bandolier was a staple for centuries. It is very easy to carry without encumbering your back or hands, has a good amount of capacity, and is perfectly accessible. The main reason it's so jarring for people is that the only modern context for the bandolier seems to be mercenaries, and worrisome sci-fi characters like Chewbacca or Tusken Raiders. I may be single-handedly remapping the context for the bandolier in the 21st century. Perhaps they'll be a major fashion trend in two years. Charlize Theron and Ashton Kuthcher, perhaps. Or, perhaps not.

In the least, Lauren wants one. I'm already getting the parts together.

I am a moody person. I don't think I'm as outwardly moody and irritable as some people I know, but I suppose there must be some of that. It's just that every two or three weeks, I become internally "dark" for a few days (or a week at the worst).

At these times, it feels like I have an overwhelming number of things that I need to do that I don't have the time and energy to take on. Certainly, that's true since I have a tremendous number of projects I make to take on at work, at home, and personally. However, while that's always true, it's only in these "moody" periods that I feel especially overwhelmed and depressed about it. Of course, feeling like that doesn't make me feel like actually doing anything... so, it's very pointless and self-defeating.

This weekend I've been feeling sick. On top of the sickness, I can feel the moody depression coming on today. I should be relaxing and looking forward to taking on any of the interesting projects I can get to this coming week... appreciating what's in front of me and not worrying about the rest. However, I can think those things on an intellectual level, but I don't feel that way on an emotional level. I suspect there's some body-chemistry component to it.

I'll keep working on it from the intellectual angle. Maybe I can just let myself be moody and not think about it so much. I wonder what that would feel like.