I'm moody
I am a moody person. I don't think I'm as outwardly moody and irritable as some people I know, but I suppose there must be some of that. It's just that every two or three weeks, I become internally "dark" for a few days (or a week at the worst).
At these times, it feels like I have an overwhelming number of things that I need to do that I don't have the time and energy to take on. Certainly, that's true since I have a tremendous number of projects I make to take on at work, at home, and personally. However, while that's always true, it's only in these "moody" periods that I feel especially overwhelmed and depressed about it. Of course, feeling like that doesn't make me feel like actually doing anything... so, it's very pointless and self-defeating.
This weekend I've been feeling sick. On top of the sickness, I can feel the moody depression coming on today. I should be relaxing and looking forward to taking on any of the interesting projects I can get to this coming week... appreciating what's in front of me and not worrying about the rest. However, I can think those things on an intellectual level, but I don't feel that way on an emotional level. I suspect there's some body-chemistry component to it.
I'll keep working on it from the intellectual angle. Maybe I can just let myself be moody and not think about it so much. I wonder what that would feel like. 
Speaking of being moody, I'm feeling the same way I as take on the pneumonia dude. Two weeks of being moody on my end has taken its toll, but hasn't given up on my - yet! Oh well, guess we're both in the same boat, Michael, shall we say?
Moody and catching up on projects - sounds like a deal to me as well, I've taken up started writing two book nows!...
Comment by Jeff — 05/27/2006 2:19 AM
Energies of the human body that are subtle are easily overlooked. Human beings have become human doings in our production/consumption driven society. Most people have truly forgotten how to let go--while awake or asleep. So much power comes out of learning this simple, but self-disciplined practice. Find a quiet room two days a week where no one will bother you. Pretend like you are super glued to the floor or bed or whatever you want to lie on. Place a blanket over you. DO NOT MOVE FOR 30 MINUTES. That is not as easy as it sounds for most people. Close your eyes during this time and listen to your breath. When your mind starts to think about one of your projects or about how you are wasting your time, bring it back to your breath and the amazing wonderment of being alive--and only being alive. Try to not fall asleep. Once you get better at this practice you will become aware of these subtle energies of the body. You will become warm during your meditation and your body can heal. You will also be able to call up this practice when you are stressed. You will find you get more done without the fatigue. But you do have to be disciplined about the meditation.
Peace
Comment by Jules Cooper — 06/05/2006 8:26 AM